Idealized Potential
Valentina P.
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Ever since I could remember, my mom has told me "You have so much potential, don't waste it". Growing up under the resilient pressure to excel, I have been placed on a rigid path of expectations I must meet in order to reach my full potential. Because of my self-destructive and anxious habits, however, I haven't yet pushed myself and let my personal intimidation stand in the way of becoming the best version of myself. In my gouache painting, I depict my internal struggle with a picture of me covering my ears, screaming; I am at the very bottom, facing away from the metaphorical path leading to the best version of me (depicted by the small, happy face) to portray my static progress and current state of denial. This face has control over my current self and emits rays of color, portraying the ultimate spiritual and physical contentment I'll feel at that level of "full potential". I chose to illustrate myself screaming to show the true desire in me to improve myself but the state of frustration in my inability to. Additionally, the path is non-linear and rigid, showing the obstacles I must encounter to get there and the disconnect between realism and idealism. Today, I am still learning and trying to meet my full potential despite the struggles I have faced attempting to get there.
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I have always turned to creativity as an outlet to release stress or strong emotions and have always used it to ground myself. I am creative when I put paint to paper and push myself in ways I portray concepts with different colors, textures, and compositions. Creativity never fails to uplift me.