The Narcissist
Gabriel P.
-
This project derives from guilt. In the second half of my Junior year of high school, I began working on my second short film, Vivid. I was truly testing my limits with the project and I tried to achieve several things I had never done before. It didn’t work out as planned, and I ended up spending double the amount of time completing it than I thought I would. It became a burden for that entire period – something I was so close to completing, yet was so unobtainable. I became so focused on trying to achieve the goal that I ended up hurting several people around me. I failed my track team, my parents, my partner, and my friends, all to finish this one short film. When I finally did complete it, I was left questioning if the cost was worth it.
The Narcissist explores the idea of negligence through the motif of blindness. Although one character is literally blind, metaphorically, both characters are as well. The boy is blind to his sister’s aid; He is so focused on regaining his eyesight that he pushes everyone else away – even if they are trying to help. The girl, however, is also blind. She is driven by pure empathy for her brother, as she truly feels bad for him and his situation. Her empathy ultimately leads to her downfall, though, as she does not realize how horrible of a person he has become.
Calling someone narcissistic is a common insult in my generation, thus, I feel that it’s overused and has lost its initial meaning. With this film, I tried to create a character that was truly narcissistic – someone who is selfish, unempathetic, egotistical, but most importantly, someone who will do anything to satisfy their own wants. I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t watched it yet, but I feel that the boy meets all those requirements.
In terms of production, this film was written, directed, shot, edited, and scored by me, Gabriel P., with stellar production design from the fabulous Xuan Anh B. Everything was youth-produced and everyone working on the film was under the age of 18 at the time of completion. This project was created as my thesis film for the California State Summer School for the Arts (CSSSA) over the course of a month.
The set was a closet of a CalArts dorm room. Xuan Anh and I carried hundreds of broken electronics and cables from a local bin and hung them all around the closet over the course of three days – an (odd) experience that I will never forget. I created the goggles at my house prior to my time at CSSSA. The film was lit with a single small LED light that fits in my hand. This film was made with no budget whatsoever.
-
My work functions as a sort of catharsis in most cases. It is a healing process for me for whatever struggles, frustrations, or anxieties I need to get off my chest. With that being said, expressing my creativity has significantly improved my life.
CONTENT WARNING: This artwork contains or explores content that touches on any of the following topics: abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, verbal); aspects of psychology and mental health and contains depictions of self-harm, substance abuse, eating disorders, or suicide; swears or curses; hurtful or hateful language; discrimination (race, color, national origin, religion, sex, gender identity, pregnancy, disability, sexual orientation); aspects of pregnancy; blood, violence, assault, kidnapping, trauma, or dying. Please read or view with care.
