Mom and Me
Eva T.
Self portrait: Acrylic, Embroidery Floss, Fabric on a Canvas. Mothers Portrait: Colored Pencil, Goache, Acrylic, and Gold Leaf on a Wood Block
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I was around two years old when my parents divorced. My mother raised my brother and I, with assistance from both sides of the family. As I grew older, I had a growing sense of disconnection from my family. My father is Mexican and Creole, while my mother is white. As a result of either strange questions about "what I was?" from classmates or encounters with relatives I felt that I wasn't quite white, creole, or Mexican enough to be a part of any group. My heritage became less of a cohesive identity that encompassed both sides of my family and more of a patchwork of people and places that was neither. To explore how I periodically still feel like a collection of thoughts that have been thrown together by accident and life experience, I created these two pieces. I made an effort to convey an awkwardness in my face at how uncomfortable my identity became. These ideas were also intended to be reflected in the piece's construction. After the portrait was finished, I cut the canvas straight across and stitched it back together using embroidery floss. In comparison, my mother's portrait is far more cohesive and certain. Although she is knit together in her own way, the blue sketch lines visible from beneath her skin, the painting is on a sturdy wood board. I wanted to convey that she has found an equilibrium in her identity where she is happy. An equilibrium that I also aim to achieve someday.
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I can explore other viewpoints and process emotions more effectively through art. In a way that the spoken or written word cannot, drawing my ideas helps me understand them more completely as I find it easier to capture stronger feelings in my art than I am able to with words.
