found in the trash & lost in the morning
Bridget H.
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This collection represents three different manifestations of anxiety. Some of us may not be able to cope with it well; others may believe they are coping when they are actually digging themselves into a deeper hole. The first poem, “the gentleman named fear,” describes the experience of intense fear. The eye shape of the poem can be read left to right or as two poems separated by the gap. This poem is inspired by my own experiences of late night anxiety that quickly escalates into night terrors. Often, my anxiety renders me unable to sleep without certain “rituals” like tucking myself securely into the blankets and wearing an eye mask. The second poem, “& so i made myself a cloud machine,” depicts repressing trauma. I loosely based the poem on my tendency to forget about things that make me stressed. However, when I am finally forced to face those things, I often become extremely overwhelmed. The third poem, “how to use a broken sewing machine,” shows the narrator deluding themself into thinking all is right in the world. This is based off of a specific incident when my best friend messaged me about being in a dangerous situation and I was completely unable to help. I was terrified because I couldn’t do anything, so I started telling myself that everything was okay. I knew that if I tried to imagine anything further, even if what I imagined was optimistic, I would spiral and everything would come crashing down.
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Creativity is having something to say in your head. Even if nobody else will see it, by getting it out of your head, you're letting the world see it.