I Want My Sickness To Be Me
Ada C.
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This piece is about my struggle with mental illness, and my tendency to cling onto that illness as my only source of identity. Specifically, there was a time in my life where I did not have any hobbies or interests due to Major Depressive Disorder; I was a shell of who I once used to be. As such, I felt some sort of comfort, of identity, within this diagnosis. I believed that my depression is me, and I am my depression. Thus, in my twisted state of mind, I tried to hold onto it as comfort. Of course, it did not come without downsides.
The flower in the piece represents my depression, while the hand represents me. The hand chooses to keep the flower gently balanced on the fingertip. Its beauty is just like how I viewed depression as comforting and how it is a part of my identity. However, the hand is significantly impacted by holding onto the flower. The finger appears to be dead near the flower, and deep cuts erupt throughout. Similar to the flower, these cuts are rather beautiful, even if they cause harm. These cuts won't heal all the way, but it did change the person I have become now.
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I find art to be the perfect way in which I can communicate my passions, emotions, experiences, struggles, and identity. As a rather emotional person who has never been good with words, I find visual art to be a way for me to connect and communicate with others who share similarities with me.
