Smooth Blue Heaven
Calvin Ray S.
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I wrote this piece originally for a musical revue I produced and staged independently in July of 2022 called "Stitch by Stitch" with a cast of nine amazing actors. When writing this monologue, "Smooth Blue Heaven," I didn't have much of an interpretation in mind. I left it open to give the actor who originated the role an opportunity to explore how he wanted to portray this character and this story. After some discussion, he chose to lean into themes of losing love for another person, and losing yourself in the process.
Half a year later, when I chose to perform this for a theatre class assignment, I decided to lean more into an issue that had been plaguing my mind since before I first wrote it. The idea of religion--the emotional suppression I activated in religious circles, the loss of identity with a loss of faith, and feeling like an outsider to the promise and peace of a Christian community. I tried to challenge myself by using exaggerated physicality and mood shifts to tell this story in a compelling and thematically appropriate way. It hurt my knees but gave me some release and something to be proud of.
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Creativity's both a skill I use in life-to solve problems efficiently, lead people effectively, or understand new perspectives-and in disengaging with life when it's overwhelming or unfulfilling. I turn to art as an audience member or creator to process and release my internalized state of being.
