Qing
Tanya S.
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Qing is a collection of poetry written to answer a question I faced throughout my life— how do I explain my beliefs about love, which have been so deeply shaped by my identity? This was the inspiration of the title of my first work, “The Dream of a Common Language,” as I felt that it was impossible to articulate how my views on love have been shaped by my Chinese culture and my undefined sexuality. This led to the creation of this writing, as I gradually learned to illustrate my feelings through the parts of my identity which have shaped them.
Qing is a distinctively Chinese color which has long been utilized as a description of deep and natural beauty. Its best contribution to defining my outlook on love lies in that it is uniquely undefined. It can convey a deep green or light turquoise, masculinity or femininity; it is a shade at once found in valuable jade and in overlooked weed sprouts. However, one truth of it remains the same throughout time; the ancient Chinese authors saw qing in everything. They described this color to be the hue of the darkest depths of the ocean, the freshness of newly-sprouted plants, and silk dyed by their loved ones. They saw it in the beauty of everyday things, usually unappreciated in our hurry to pass them by.
Thus, qing is a perfect concept for me to express my sexuality through; it is an idea unbound by the restriction of defining features but created with uniquely Asian ideas about beauty, and one which reveals a rare outlook on love which generally lies unseen. These elements reflect that my queerness and my Chinese heritage have created a solitary view on love. My queer sexuality is shown in the endless possibilities of qing; I find that there is an unnamed loveliness in each person I take interest in. Although their identities, traits, and self-expression are different, the same beauty lies in each of them, not because of what they are but because of who they are. Thus, my sexuality is like the identity of qing, unrestricted and undefined, allowed to freely flow and interact with the world naturally.
To connect my culture to my work, I draw upon inspiration from Classical Chinese poet Li Bai, and use his work to incorporate Confucian ideals such as familial loyalty through alliteration. This traditional concept, held dear and immediately understandable to millions of Chinese individuals, is then used to accentuate my feelings and explain a deep longing which is the root of my attraction. My writing also includes symbolism of Chinese culture through vivid imagery; an example occurs in my poem, “Lunar New Year’s Eve,” which uses the most important and anticipated day of the Lunar calendar to represent my anticipation of a budding relationship. By drawing on nature elements customarily used in Chinese literature, I seek to link the concept of qing— of natural and unrestricted beauty— closely to my descriptions of romantic encounters.
Through the creation of this collection, I was able to learn about my outlook on love and how it has been shaped by elements of my identity. Most importantly, I discovered a way to express this view through art, and I was able to draw a clear definition of my romantic beliefs for myself.
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My poetry draws on traditional Asian practices by using nature and cultural ideals to express myself. I’ve found it to be an outlet to examine eroticism and femininity in connection with queer identity, exploring my Chinese heritage, and serving as a representation of LGBTQ+ sexuality.
